i'll be right beside you.

do you remember ever meeting that one kid when you were younger?
the one who as soon as you started talking you just felt like you've known them your whole life...
well, that exactly what happened to me and him. well sure... of corse we had those little conversations before... but that one science class was just... like i was reunited with a long lost friend. we didnt even talk for that long and we already started to open up to eachother.

i really feel like i can tell him anything. he's "always going to be there"... and i know this is true. i love him... i really do. and i know what your thinking... what? doesnt she go on all the time about anthony. but hes different... hes my best friend.

it's pretty much a proven fact that friendship is the longest lasting type of "love" there is.

i guess thats why i've let down all my walls. because i just have this hope that our relationship will not end. and i dont think it will...

when your future arrives, will you blame your past ?

well... i haven't posted sence july. and its now november...
so basicly i haven't done this in about five months.


things that have happened sence then :
----------------------------------------------------

gotten closer to dylan.
made mine and anthonys relationship better.
turned 15.
started high school.
and finally started talking to my dad again .

--------------------------------------------------

Have you ever wondered how your furture will turn out... and if what your doing right now, is the right thing to do inorder to make it exactly the way you want it to be ?

i have. and honestly... i truly think i'm doing my best. i have everything i could possibly ask for; my friends, anthony and my family.... even including my dad... whos finally decided to become a part of my life. i think it's safe to say that it's a good thing. i finally got to see my brothers Alex and Justin, and my sister Kayla. i'm also letting my stop mom, Chrisy, be a part of my life aswell.

hopfully i live my life right... because what you did in the past.. and what you do in the present... will always reflect on your future.

speaking of the past...
heres a poem i wrote like a year ago.


YOUNG LOVE.
-----------------

young love.
the purest kind of all
you meet the one you want...
then soon begin to fall.

you feel so jowfull,

so happy that they're yours.

closing out the rest,

and locking all your doors.

you feel like all is gone,

the moment that they leave.

even if their words are lies,

you'll make yourself belive.

never letting go,

you wish for them to stay.

and all the love thats given,

never fades away.

simply strange,
becca sharkey.

pretty will shallow you forever ,

i'm no wheres near perfect .

i eat when i'm bored .
i give in too easaly .
i spend way too much time doing nothing .
i belive in anything .
i see the good in people.. and hardly ever notice the bad .

i've had my heart broken .
i've had my heart repaired .
i've stayed out past curfew .
i've read a whole novel .
i've stayed up all night .
i've cryed till i couldn't breath .

makeup makes me feel pretty .
emotions get the best of me .
food is my addiction, along with him and love .
affection is what i give the most .
attention is somthing i'll never need .
and friendship means the world to me .
saying no is somthing i can never do .


and i always tell myself.. my past will never change, and my future will never be known .

but thats me..

i gotta love myself, accept myself.. and learn from my mistakes.

the past can catch up with you.

wow..
i REALLY havent used this thing in a looong time.
i miss it lol.

well, its summer, and i'm kinda loving it .
i'm still with my anthony :) <3
and i started talking to an old friend of mine..
well two old friends of mine actually..
aric and dylan,
although dylan hasnt made an effort to talk to me in five days..
but owell..
its not bothering me that much,
i'll live :)

i still have my favorite people in my life,
my mom, morgan, kayla, shannon, kailee, and audrianna.

but my mom broke up with mike..
sadly.
but were doing just great.

anyways, it was nice doing this again..
it helps... it really does.


simply strange,
becca sharkey .

do the hellen keller, and talk with your hips .

so, its spring break.
and i've been having non-stop fun.
between going down to anthonys for two days in a row..
stayin there till about 11 o'clock and spendng loads of time with my famiy,
i dont think i've had this much fun sence..
actually.. i dont think i've ever had this much fun.

i can't wait for spring to come.
so i can get out of these boaring winter clothes..
and start wearing flip flops and jean skirts again .

i'm still figuring out how i wanna do my room for when i move .
i've been going through some colours ...
and i think i might just wanna colour each wall different.
and the ceiling.. and the frames.
cause i'm a very colourfull person, and i love all colours.


i must be off, i gotta start chillin like a villan with shannon and mike.

but i'll leave you with the song of the day ...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Black dress with the tights underneath,
I got the taste of the last cigarette on my teeth,
And shes an actress (actress),
But she ain't got no need.
Shes got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.
T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks,
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth,
T-tell your boyfriend.
if he says hes got beef....
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him.

She wants to touch me Woah,
She wants to love me Woah,
She'll never leave me Woah, woah, oh, oh,
Don't trust a ho,
Never trust a ho,
I won't trust a ho,
Cause a ho woon't trust me.


don't trust me - 3OH3

breaking down is easy .

i don't lie when i say i'm over you, i haven't for a while .
i see you differently now, almost like nothing happened in the first place.
like everything is just finally okay .

for once in my life i can say i'm glad we went our seprate ways .
you have her, and i have him.

your words use to haunt me
your touch use to break me
the pain use to never end .

untill i woke up and realized.. it wasnt you .
it never was.. and never will be your fault .
its no ones.. just my own .

i'll have to admite, i'm jelous because of her.
not by the fact that i'm no longer yours, but she is.
but by the fact she changed you..
and i tryed so hard to, but never managed .

it doesnt anger me, or make me sad.
just a little jelous.

but i undersand why ..

in some ways i can say you woke up too .


i remember when we just sat there.. and cryed.
i cryed so hard i began to forget why i was in the first place .
even though you were breathless and sobbing.. you still managed to comfort me.

that was the first time a boy held me, and said " shhhhh " while rubbing my back .

i remember alot of things, good and bad .
and honestly, i hope you never forget, cause i wont .

i do love him, and i'm sure you love her .

but i'll always remember.

even though it hurt, i think you helped me in more ways then you can emagine .


as much as i hated you,
as much as i wished you could feel my pain
and as much as i swore i never loved you
i think i just wanted that closure more then anything.

and i got it,

even though i have closure.. i still wish it could of been me who changed you .


but none of that matters.

i accept you now, and i'm letting you back in my life .

i see how you've changed, and i hope the new you stays for a while .

snow snow snow snow .
thats all that happens lately.
snows days upon snow days for us .

as much as i hate snow, and actually like school,
i'm kinda diggin it.
it gives me alone time, time to think about things.


my cat recently got fixed.
so the once evil phycoic little kitty,
is now a calm loving animal ?
dunno how it happened.. but it did .

anthony and i are great.

hmm... what else is new ?



OH!, i'm moving ! yes.. moving to baxsters corner.
well, hopfully i am. michael has to talk to veronica .
but i hope so, more then anything !
i really wanna live there, its so peacefull.
and the whole familys there. under one roof,
no more me and michael running back and forth to eachothers houses.

but i should head out,
lots of nothing to be doing .



simply strange,
becca sharkey.